In the tapestry of life, few threads are as richly woven as that of family and the societal expectations surrounding it. In many communities, the role of a woman is often closely tied to her ability to bear children. While the desire for offspring is deeply rooted in our teachings, the pressure exerted on women to conceive can become overwhelming, leading to a complex interplay of emotions, spirituality, and societal expectations.
From the moment a couple decides to tie the knot, whispers of anticipation can often be heard. Family members, friends, and acquaintances eagerly inquire about when the couple will start their family. In-laws, parents, and even more distant relatives may voice their expectations, sometimes without considering the implications of their words on the woman’s emotional well-being. This pressure creates an invisible yet palpable weight, making the natural joys of marriage feel tinged with apprehension.
For women struggling to conceive, this societal pressure can be devastating. Infertility is often a silent struggle that many endure in isolation, battling feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Each person who questions their journey adds another layer to their heartache. It is important for society to understand that the capability to conceive is not solely in the hands of a human being; it is ultimately in the hands of Allah Ta’ala , the All-Knowing and All-Wise. Islam teaches us that not everything is a punishment, but rather a test—one that Allah Ta’ala knows we can endure. It is a reminder of our reliance on Him in all matters and the importance of keeping faith during challenging times. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam emphasized that supplication and patience are powerful tools. By turning to prayer and seeking solace in our faith, we can find peace amidst the storm.
Moreover, many verses in the Qur’an affirm that Allah Ta’ala is the ultimate planner of our lives. “And it is He who creates from [dropped] semen and makes him [a] human being” (Qur’an, 16:4). This verse reminds us of the divine control over the creation of life, reaffirming the belief that our journeys are uniquely crafted by Allah Ta’ala. Everything in this dunya (world) is under the taqdeer of Allah Ta’ala.
Women grappling with infertility may feel a profound sense of loss and despair, often compounded by feelings of shame, isolation, and hopelessness. In Islam, children are indeed considered a blessing, but the inability to conceive does not equate to a lack of worth or love from Allah Ta’ala. It is important to remember that every individual’s journey is different, shaped by unique circumstances and divine will.
Women in these situations may experience a wide spectrum of emotions, including sadness, anger,low self-esteem and depression. They deserve compassion, understanding, and support.
As a society, we must create an environment of empathy and kindness. Instead of adding pressure through pointed questions and unsolicited advice, we should offer encouragement and support. A simple acknowledgment of a woman’s struggle can be profoundly healing. Statements like, “I’m here for you,” or “Your worth is not defined by your ability to conceive,” can provide much-needed solace.
In our communities, we must educate ourselves on the complexities of fertility issues and challenge the stigma that surrounds them.
We should strive to build environments that embrace every woman, reminding them of their value instead of spitting venomous words at them.
Let us remember the profound wisdom of our deen. Every breath, every heartbeat, and every journey is in the hands of Allah Ta’ala.
