Let’s face it: Everyone wants to be liked. If feels good to receive compliments.
Have you ever found yourself obsessing over what other’s think about you?
Most of us have experienced that anxious feeling, some of us are still stuck in the sociotrophy phase because of the obsession of seeking validation from others and not our Creator.
When we’re focused on people’s reactions and responses to us, we’re giving them the authority to validate us, we’re giving them the authority to control our life and live according to their expectations.
When we are grasping for feedback from insaan, we give them an authority in our own lives. In essence, we’re asking them to tell us who we are and by doing so we’re dishonoring Allah Ta’ala because we should be prioritizing to seek validation from Allah and not the creation.
The more we look for approval outside of ourselves, the more we reinforce the feeling that we need it. It perpetuates the cycle. Negativity fuels anxious feelings, sadness or resentment.
Solace can only be found as we reflect and address what’s going on inside us because that’s where the problem lies.
We cannot sugar coat things throughout our life. The only way to make a change is to start making the right choices which starts with reforming ourselves for the benefit of our sanity and not of others. We have no control over others’ behavior or thoughts but we do have control over our own.
Time is like a block of ice that is relentlessly melting. We have no assurance nor guarantee of us waking up the next day. Let us try to strive for becoming a better version of ourselves and aim to please Allah and not the Creation inshaAllah.
Raeesa Padia
