قل انما أشكو بثي و حزني إلي الله •
“Say: I surely complain of my grief and sorrow (only) to Allah.. (Surah Yusuf)
Grief; A part of our lives that's like death, none can escape it. No one that has come into this vast world, neither anyone to come has ever been free of some sort of anxiety or trouble including all Ambiyā عليهم السلام and Sahābah Kirām رضي الله عنهم. Allah tests everyone differently in his infinite wisdom, based on their levels of faith, abilities to bear the grief and so forth. Nonetheless, our beautiful religion has given us guidelines along with direct and indirect parables in the Qurān and ahadeeth with regards to coping with difficulty.
In linguistic terms, حزن – grief is defined as الهم يذيب الإنسان I.e; “something that melts a human being.” For grief surely consumes you and sometimes the inability to deal with it and the lack of knowledge tends to make one commit mistakes that he regrets for a lifetime thereafter.
There are different types of grief, some lighter, others life changing. Just like physical ailments have symptoms, so do spiritual maladies and mental health issues. The symptoms of grief may include;
-Different types of anger associated with depression (examples: passive, dissociation, projection, denial, aggressiveness, minimization etc..) – (we won't delve into the details of these as yet.)
-Lack of interest
-Increase in substance abuse
-Difficulty in decision making
-Sleeping too much
-Low self esteem and lacking confidence
-Inappropriate feelings of guilt
-Inability to concentrate.
These are just a few main symptoms but the list goes on and varies from person to person as well as their abilities to deal with grief.
In the following parts of this short series inshaAllah, I wish to cover one aspect in each chapter, that helps to cope in every situation that leaves one in agony. The main advices I would give in a counseling session or the advice I would give to a loved one going through grief will be covered inshaAllah. These guidelines are extracts from a private course conducted by a well educated and respected individual.
May this be beneficial for myself as well as you, dearest reader.
To be continued inshaAllah.