THE INEVITABLE is Death. From before we are born, we are guaranteed and assured of one thing and that is that we will die. And life is so short that the Adhaan of our Janazah salaah is given at our birth. However, we only really understand the reality of death when Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) places the hand of death over the ones we love.
‘’every soul shall have a taste of death’’
Death always comes as a shock and it is accompanied by an immense pain that could knock that wind out of you. No matter if it was a sudden death or if you knew that a person’s time was nearing, the news of death is never easy to hear and it takes an exceptional toll on us, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Physically, you feel as if your ribcage is crushing and ripping apart your heart. It seems to be the most unbearable pain but this is not the worst of it as with time this pain eases and you feel as if you can breathe again.
Mentally, you play and replay the events of the last time you saw and spoke to the person. The words of the news of their death rings through your ear’s countless times until such a time it feels as if your brain is going to burst open. You see your surroundings and hear people’s condolences, but nothing registers because all you can focus on is the voice of the deceased in your mind. Yet, with time you are able to move forward.
Emotionally, there is a great toll that burdens you. You feel the steady stream of hot tears pour down your face, you can’t grasp control of how you are feeling. You feel defeated and broken like you have no way out and no way to move forward. You understand people want to make it better and say ‘’ it will get easier ‘’ but at that moment all you want to do is scream and say it won’t. But with time even our emotional selves heal and the pain is not as severe.
For me the most taxing and invasive toll that death takes on us is spiritually. We begin to question Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and ask Him why He had to take away from us. We feel despondent on those quiet night after the death pondering about how life would be different if Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) did not take that person from us. Its in these moments that we find ourselves with weak and low Imaan and our Yaqeen that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) knows what is best for us fails us. I have seen people lose their Imaan completely during this time thinking that it is unfair and oppressive of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to take away their loved ones.
However, while death is life changing and brings us to our knees we should always keep in mind:
‘’ ALLAH سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى WILL NOT BURDEN A SOUL WITH MORE THAN IT CAN BARE’’
It is most difficult to believe that things will get better and that everything happens for a reason but we must always keep in mind that we are strong enough to see it through because just as death was promised to us it was promised to us that we will not bare more than we can burden.
May Allah Azzawajal give us sabr and taqwa to cope with the death of our loved ones and may He grant all the marhoomeen Jannatul Firdous. Aameen.